when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
