i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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