508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
