i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
