thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize