is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
