then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
