he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
