its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
