It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
