Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
