To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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