ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
