covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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