i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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