I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
