You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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