If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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