You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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