bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize