Betty ford says i'm here all night
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
