They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i drank out of a bidet.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize