so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
