I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
