Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
