I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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