Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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