is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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