All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
