what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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