the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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