I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
