come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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