Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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