Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i drank out of a bidet.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
