I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
