She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
