What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
