You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Who died my cat blue again?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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