How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize