he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
