the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
