Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
