She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
