I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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