I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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