I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
