do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
