Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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