Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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