If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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