Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
