i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
