The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.