did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
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Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
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Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.