I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize