I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
