He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
