Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
