Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
