rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
